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Your child's questions

The world is a fascinating place for a four year old

Now that your child is four, you will undoubtedly be aware that their curiosity knows no bounds! They are interested in everything from why the sky's blue, to how the fridge stays cold.

A questioning nature is undoubtedly a positive attribute and most of the time children ask questions in order to learn, as Arnold Edinborough said "Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly." Likewise, Albert Einstein said "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

However, sometimes it can feel like they're just playing up, particularly when you're short of time. The seemingly endless chorus of ‘Why?' when you're under pressure with 101 things to do can be tricky to handle.

What's this all about?

Asking questions is a sign that your child is devoping his/her intellect. Rather than simply accepting that things just ‘are', they're beginning to question in an effort to better understand how the world works.

According to child educational psychologist Simon Cusworth, "...something called ‘individuation' occurs, when they begin to become aware of themselves as individuals, and to see the gap between how the world is and how they want it to be".

This breeds questions like ‘why is the grass green?', and indeed much tougher questions like ‘what is colour made of?'. It also leads to questions which challenge your authority e.g. ‘why can't I have some chocolate?'; and ‘why do I have to go to bed?'.

How should you handle it?

Well the good news is that you shouldn't feel like you have to have all of the answers. Telling your child that you're not sure will help them to understand that no one knows everything. This may also reassure them that it's ok for them not to know everything too. It's also a great chance to teach your child how to find out things for themselves. Good resources include an encyclopaedia, nature books, the internet, and your local library.

If your child is asking a tricky question at the wrong time - for example when you are trying to get them ready for school and are already running late - it's probably because they are either craving attention, or testing out a challenge to your authority. There's never enough hours in the day and you can't always drop what you're doing in order to fully discuss the question. If you're getting a bit frazzled it's best to simply reassure your child that you will talk it through more fully (or indeed look up the answer) later on; and of course, make sure you honour your promise!

When it comes to questions which challenge your authority, it's best to answer the question as fully as you can, but to stick to your guns. At Perform we teach children to co-operate with each other, so they learn that no one can have their own way all of the time -  an important lesson!

Play and pretend

Part of your child's curiosity comes from a desire to work things out for themselves, so help them stretch their powers of deduction with the Perform game What am I?


Kalila really enjoys her lessons, she comes home from them full of energy and is very motivated to learn her lines. I can already see an increased level of self-confidence in her and I love the element of life skills coaching that the classes provide. 

– Lara Cork

Mia has absolutely come on leaps and bounds during her time at Perform! From being a very quiet and shy girl, Mia has blossomed so well and thoroughly loves her lessons and shows. Her confidence also radiates to all other aspects of her life. Amazing!!

– Laura Townsend

I want to cry (with happiness!) as I write this. Both my children are on the autistic spectrum. Callum and Lucy are so fun and kind and talented, and the programme is so engaging, that my two can't wait to go in and are enjoying this more than anything else they do. It also seems to be a useful format to help autistic children with social communications. Thank you!

– Deirdre Ferrier

Perform is my children's favourite hour of the week. They have a lot of fun and learn so many useful things for life. Jessica and Grant are absolutely fantastic, they have so much energy, are very friendly and professional. I would recommend Perform to everyone!

– Cecilia Klein

Perform is a revelation for my fairly shy and quiet twins who at times seem to lack the confidence to be heard in groups. Such an amazing class and it's even more amazing watching their confidence grow as they develop new skills.

– Helen Dalgleish

Roberto absolutely loves Perform! He asks at least three times a week, "Mummy, is it Perform today"? I can hardly believe how quickly he has taken to it and even his school teacher has noticed a difference in his confidence. We are delighted he is enjoying it so much.

– Mrs D Monk

Oliver has really enjoyed Perform. He has only had good things to say about the classes. It is apparent that the teachers are very enthusiastic and work hard to involve all of the children.

– Justin Harris

Both girls love Abi, and her energy and enthusiasm is infectious. Both girls look forward to their classes and their comfort in performing in front of an audience has improved fantastically.

– Ms Roo Modasia-Patel

I have been really impressed with the confidence that Perfom has given Mary. Within 5 weeks she was standing in front of an audience singing her Rapunzel song! She loves coming to Perform.

– Mrs Lucy Foster

Harrison has loved all of the classes so far. I am really happy to know he is enjoying himself, improving his confidence and developing so many other interpersonal skills too!

– Mrs Bela Nunes-Edwards

Isabella really enjoys her classes and is always on a "high" afterwards (for the whole day!). I can see already how her confidence has grown. Thank you!

– Ms Anna Sales

Dexter has found Perform brilliant, he loves going and I have seen real improvements in his ability to concentrate and retain information

– Mrs Emma Beverley

George is quite anxious in new settings and Lisa-Marie has been great in helping him to find his feet at Perform. He thoroughly enjoys the classes and is gaining in confidence from week to week.

– Mrs Clare Warnett

Both my daughters adore perform and we are delighted with the quality. We are both from academic backgrounds and really admire your attention to detail and child development. We couldn't be happier.

– Mrs Julia Martin

Ella loves perform! Her school teacher has remarked that she has started to use much more expression in her reading and I'm certain that this is thanks to Perform. 

– Mrs Holly Gregory

Anja is enjoying the classes very much, and I've already noticed more confidence in Anja speaking to adults using her loud and clear voice :-)

– Viktoria Arnold

Wonderful, exactly what my eldest needed to boost her confidence at the awkward " self awareness" stage of development, she can't wait to get there each week.

– Sue Richards

Perform has helped my shy daughter come out of my shell and gives my outgoing son an outlet for his exuberance (which can sometimes be frowned on at school). We all love it.

– Lucy Kihlstrom

Alana is really enjoying it and I feel that it is helping her to express herself. I noticed that her speaking is clearer.

– Justine Lee

I have noticed that Beatriz finds it easier to learn her lines for her school plays, she is confident and loves going to Perform.

– Joana

I love the content and the social skills that my child is being taught. He is now running in to class after having to be peeled off my husband for the first couple of weeks.

– Cara Collins

I love that the priority with Perform is the development & well being of each child rather than pushing them to "perform" without considering their enjoyment. Both of my children are so happy in class and develop week on week.

– Becky Waller

I love the way that they respond to Leo's specific needs and encourage him to speak out, to move and dance and build his confidence through such positive responses to his efforts.

– Gemma Moorby
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