Whining and whinging
Does your child have a tendency to whine when things don’t go their way?
Sometimes it can be tempting just to give in to their demands in order to get the whining to stop. However, you could be making a rod for your own back, as you may inadvertently be teaching your child that if they whine enough - they’ll get want they want.
My Mum used to say: Whiners never win, and winners never whine. I’m fairly certain she wasn’t the first to say it and neither will she be the last!
Don’t let your child whine their way to a win - read on for some tips on how to deal with your little one when they‘re having a whine.
What’s this all about?
Typically, whining and whinging are about getting attention. Children also have a tendency to whine more when they are hungry or tired.
How should you handle it?
Firstly, try to identify if there are particular times of day that your child gets whiney. Are they tired? Toddlers need between 10 to 12 hours sleep per day - however this will of course vary from child to child. Some toddlers still need a nap, and without one can become crotchety. Even if your child doesn’t seem to need a nap anymore, if you find that they consistently become whiney in the evening, it may be that they need to go to bed a little earlier - often bringing bedtime forward by as a little as half an hour can make the world of difference.
The other major cause of whinging is hunger. Again if you can link whiney periods to particular times of day you may find that by moving mealtimes slightly you can vastly improve things! If you are out and about, always try to have some healthy snacks to hand so if your child does get hungry you can keep them going with a little snack. It’s also worth considering sugar intake. Children are highly susceptible to sugar highs (and of course lows) and they can pay havoc with their mood. Try to be aware of the amount of sugar in your child’s diet and try modifying their intake - it can make a difference.
So we’ve talked a little about prevention… but with the best will in the world every child gets a little whiney from time to time. So what should you do?
Most importantly - don’t give in.
If you respond to whining, your child may come to rely on this sort of behaviour to get what they want. Be calm, but firm and say something like: I don’t like it when you whine. If you have something you’d like to tell me I will listen to you, but you must use your normal voice.
If your child continues to whine, childcare expert Elizabeth Pantley suggests making it obvious that you are ignoring the child’s behaviour by turning your back, and pretending to do something else. Once your child learns that you do not respond to whining they will begin to modify their behaviour. Remember to reinforce their good behaviour - so as and when they stop whining and tell you what’s the matter make sure you offer praise and do what you can to resolve the situation.
For example, if they tell you that they are tired and want to go home - whilst it may not be practical to head off right away, sympathise and offer up a compromise - e.g.: I’m sorry we can’t go home right now because we need to finish the shopping, but if you help me, we’ll get it done much quicker and then we can get home.
Play & Pretend
One of the best ways to deal with whining and whinging is with distraction - for example a game or exercise. Why not help improve your child’s coordination with a Mini Ps game? - Follow the Hand.
