Telling tales -what it means
The time has come, the Walrus said,
To talk of many things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings.*
*Excerpt from The Walrus & The Carpenter by Lewis Carroll.
Uh oh, who's been telling porkies?
As your three year old approaches their fourth year you may find that he or she tells a tall tale or two -
"I haven't had a biscuit" - even when there's incontrovertible evidence to the contrary - absence of said biscuit plus chocolate and crumbs around their mouths.
Or perhaps, something a little more creative - one little boy who I taught last year claimed to have a twin called Mikey who lived under his bed and didn't go to school because he didn't have any shoes!
What's this all about?
Many parents find this sudden dishonesty a worrying development. Is my child unhappy? Will they continue to lie and deceive throughout their life?
Vasudevi Reddy, a professor of developmental and cultural psychology at the University of Portsmouth highlights that children are very bad at lying (apparently only fooling us around 15% of the time); as such she believes that children deceive in order to learn - i.e. they use it to test which behaviours elicit approval and which reproach.
Similarly, Dr Richard Woolfson, chid psychologist believes that children do not lie to be ‘bad‘. They deceive to be playful or perhaps in response to the threat of punishment.
I've been teaching children at Perform for nearly 10 years, and I have to say I'd concur - children are afraid of punishment, so those ‘it wasn't me' fibs are pretty common. With regard to the more ‘creative' tall tales - this is probably in part due to an over-active imagination, and perhaps because as Reddy says, your child wants to test your response.
How should you handle it?
Whilst it's important to highlight the importance of being honest - I find telling the tale of the boy who cried wolf works wonders here; it's important not to take these tall tales too seriously. Children at this age thrive on imaginative play and you don't want to stifle their creativity.
However, if they're fibbing to avoid punishment it's probably important to let them know that you've not been fooled!
Play and pretend
Help your child distinguish between pretend and reality by playing along with them. At Perform we know that children love imaginative play, and it's something which you can also engage your child in at home. Why not try out our game - Making the Mundane Extraordinary?
Taking part in imaginative games may feel a little strange at first, but the more you play along, the easier it gets, and the sillier you are, the more your child will laugh; and, as every parent knows, there's no better sound in the world.
