Learning to share
Learning to share is a very important social skill, however at this age it is a very difficult concept for a toddler to grasp. One year olds live very much in their own little worlds, and as such find it difficult to understand that others have desires and needs which are different to their own.
What's this all about?
In a developmental sense, sharing is a difficult concept for a child to grasp. One year olds tend not to play together in a traditional sense. Instead they often engage in something called parallel play - wherein children will monitor each other's actions, but may not directly interact.
This may seem somewhat anti-social, as two children will sit quite close together, but appear to be in their own worlds, playing their own separate games.
However, if you look more closely you will probably notice that they watch each other and often imitate each other‘s actions; almost as if they are playing the same game, but separately.
It's important to remember that just because your child doesn't appear to actively play with other children, that doesn't mean that they don't enjoy the company of others. As time goes on they will begin to value interaction with others, and of course begin to play with, rather than alongside other children.
How should you handle it?
It's really important to make sure that your child has plenty of opportunities to interact with other children, and it is via these interactions that they will develop social skills.
However, at this age children require pretty close supervision, as inherently when you get two or more one year olds together the concept of sharing can be problematic! So grabbing, pinching and screeching often punctuate these interactions.
Sharing is a really important concept for your child to grasp. Children learn behaviours via imitation so whenever possible take the opportunity to show your child how to share.
For example offer to share some of your meal, drink or snack - e.g. this is a lovely apple, would you like to share it with me? Likewise when your child attempts to share offer praise and encouragement to reinforce their positive behaviour.
If sharing is very problematic, you can also dodge it altogether by offering an alternative activity when other children come over to play. Rather than suggesting that they all play with your child's toys, offer up something like playing with modelling clay, painting and so on. This way they can get used to playing the same games without necessarily needing to share. This type of cooperative play can work really well.
There's little point in trying to punish a child of this age for not sharing. Simply let them know that you're disappointed that they've chosen not to share their things and leave it at that. You're child will soon learn the importance of sharing with others from their peers!
Play & Pretend
Have fun with your child by playing Catch me if you can.
