Imaginary friends
Once your child is three, you might find yourself being asked to set an extra place at the dinner table, for a certain someone who isn't there.
Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away
-excerpt from Antigonish, by Hughes Mearns
Imaginary friends are common at this age, and certainly not something to worry about, but nonetheless I'm often asked how best to handle the situation by Mini Ps parents.
What's this all about?
Children develop imaginary friends for a variety of reasons - for some it's so they can exercise some form of control; as their imaginary friend will do exactly as they say. Sometimes it can also be a way to fulfil a wish - perhaps your child really wants a pet, but you don't think that they're quite ready. In this situation a child will often invent an imaginary pet to play with.
So, should you be worried?
I would say no. In fact, research at London's Institute of Education has found that children who have imaginary friends are often more articulate, confident and creative.
The idea that children create imaginary friends because they struggle to make real ones seems largely unfounded. Instead, quite the opposite appears to be true as research indicates that children with imaginary friends often have more advanced social skills and are more out-going than those who do not.
It's also more common than perhaps you might think - a study from the University of Washington suggested that around two thirds of children have imaginary friends.
How should you handle it?
Broadly speaking I would advise being pretty relaxed about the whole thing. It's extremely unlikely to be a symptom of anything untoward and given time your child will grow out of this phase.
That said, you need to be careful of the blame game. Some children will use their imaginary friends as scapegoats:
It wasn't me who spilt the juice, it was Mr Scoopies.
Now we all know children will try to wriggle out of things, and I would suggest that as they have tried to lay the blame at the feet of their imaginary friend, then they do at least know that they've done something wrong. In this instance I would make sure your child knows that you've not been taken in. I'd probably smile and say something like:
I don't think it was Mr Scoopies who spilt the juice. Now we need to be careful with juice because it stains, doesn't it? Let's get a cloth and tidy it up shall we?
Play & Pretend
Encourage your child to engage in imaginative play with our game - Dream Tree.
